Help
Sign In
abundance
July 2009 
A Meaningful Life
Posted on Jun 13th, 2009
by 
Spiritual Liberation
Spiritual Liberation
I decided I was going to write a book this weekend, so today I stared at a blank page all day, then took a nap. I dreamed about anger the whole time I slept, and yet I didn't want to wake up.
I was at a program with my teacher last weekend, and we worked with the energy of ascension. My teacher said if we weren't certain of where we were going, that we'd better get sure real quick, because this energy would propel us in the direction of our focus.
At that time, I knew for sure where I was headed.
Ever since then, I've felt complete internal chaos.
I'm in that middle place between walking by faith and knowing that God helps those who help themselves. I don't know what to do. Just BE, or take action? Do I give up my apartment and live in a motel with my kids to ensure my credit doesn't get trashed if I can't pay my rent, ensuring that we can live well in the future? Or have faith that the support will come and risk a credit collapse if it doesn't? The choices life offers are not always easy to make.
I try not to think like this. I try not to focus on what I don't want. After all, I am a powerful creator.
I really do think everything will be okay. In fact, I know everything will be okay no matter how it turns out. What I don't always know is what path to choose to make things easiest, what path will bring the least pain.
Life is a paradox. Walk by faith. God helps those who help themselves. Both are wise. And maybe they are not so paradoxical...walk by faith does imply action, after all.
I've been in this place before. I think perhaps I must keep repeating these dynamics until I get it 'right', until I make a different choice and experience myself as the powerful creator I am. I have created all the circumstances for each event in my life. I know very well how to create pain and chaos. This time I choose to create a life of joyous celebration. A meaningful life. An abundant life.
Just you watch me.
Access: Public
