I think I may have issues...

Where are all the women? Why aren't women making more of a visible impact?

I've been thinking a lot about this because I was thinking about books and authors and wondering why most of the books that are taken very seriously and have the greatest impact on society at large are written by men. I started thinking about bestselling spiritual books that have been taken seriously and the authors that wrote them, and mostly men come to mind, except Marianne Williamson. There is Gary Zukav, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, and on and on with the men who have impacted humanity with their contributions. And even with Marianne Williamson, there is great controversy surrounding her writings as does not exist with these others. Gosh, you mention Marianne and Gary Renard gets thrown in your face to discredit her. It's ridiculous. Her books are amazing!

Why is it that women are not doing more or being taken more seriously? Is it because of religion - Pastors, rabbis, preists, monks, gurus and most religous and spirtual leaders being male (traditionally speaking)?

I don't begrudge men their great place in society at all, but what is it about women that make us less visible, less serious? Is it that we tend to be more emotion based instead of logic based? Can we not even take ourselves seriously?

Don't get me wrong - I love my touchy-feely-nurturing nature, and I would not trade my 'burdon' in the world for a man's, but I also wish to be taken seriously and not written off based on my gender. How can women bridge that chasm?

This came up strongly for me just now because I got this email from Sai Maa's organization for an upcoming program Maa is giving (you should all drop everything and go to it, by the way!):




...and I was looking at this image of Maa, soaking up the energy of her presence (even in a photograph in an email) and thinking how beautiful and amazing she is, and wondering how much it has cost her to be a woman in a 'man's world' as a spiritual leader. She is a groundbreaker and is paving the way for all the women who come after her. Just imagining the joy and the frustration makes me want to scream. How bittersweet is each step that it is ground earned, but was so hard to take?

I never ever have heard her complain or speak a word of it, so please know this is all my own projection! I am the one who is experiencing frustration at my own limiting concepts and beliefs. It's ego.

Everytime I think to work on the books I am writing, I immediately feel frustrated and bored because I wonder who will read them, who will take any of it to heart? who will listen to me? I'm no authority on anything. All I have is the value in my own experience. Historically speaking, in my lifetime, at least, women have not even been serious authorities on mothering, let alone pregnancy and birthing! Dr. Spock and Dr. Sears and even Sigmond Freud have been the voices of reason when it comes to these things, so who am I to know anything about anything?

And I know it's all ego because it should not matter to me in the least what the outcome is. There is a proverb that says, "A seed will never see the flower it becomes." I should write because I can't not write, and I should fall on my knees and thank all the powers of the Universe if even one person is touched by all my effort, even if that one person is only me. It's arrogant of me to think that maybe I can serve humanity in a bigger way, isn't it?

I am only one,
But still, I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still, I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
                                                           ~Helen Keller

Is it wrong to want to make a difference, to desire to see humanity stop suffering, to want to be taken seriously so I can more effectively do what I came here to do? Is it arrogant to even entertain the notion that I can help anyone but myself?

How do I make peace with the seeming dichotomy of 'there is nothing to do, just BE,' and how freaking much there obviously is to do?

I need to remember that 'be' is a verb. Love is a verb. Verbs denote action.

All this because I looked into my Maa's eyes in an email, and yet I am crying about how women are not powerful enough??? Am I nuts?!

Perhaps my shift in thinking needs to be such that I see how women are powerful rather than how we are not. Maybe I don't need to 'compete' with men in a man's world. Look at Oprah - she is arguably the most publicly influential woman in the free world, and she does it through an afternoon talk show.

Maybe I need to look at where my own strengths lie, and work with them rather than trying to force them to conform to a standard that is an uphill quest.

Maybe I need to forget everything I think I know.
Maybe I need to drop my bags.
Maybe I need to remember who I am, rather than who I am not.
Maybe I need to remember that there is only one me, and I came here to serve a unique purpose, therefore any concept of competition is pure illusion anyway.
Maybe I need to keep in mind that suffering is an impetus for change, and embrace it.
Maybe I need to remember how far we've come when I feel so frustrated by how far we've yet to go for balance and equality.
Maybe I need to become so intimate with my own inner power that nothing outside of me matters or can shake me.
Maybe I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Maybe carrying a teaspoon of water at a time will eventually fill an ocean.
Maybe.