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alcohol
June 2009 
Throwing Away the Rules
Posted on Nov 15th, 2008
by 
Spiritual Liberation
Spiritual Liberation
I've been shedding lots of rules in the past few weeks. Some of them are internal rules about trust and intimacy, and others are outward rules I imposed upon myself.
In the past 2 weeks I haven't been strictly vegan. In fact, I haven't been vegan even a little. I've eaten eggs and dairy. Yesterday I tried a slice of pizza. With cheese. Real cheese, not soy cheese. I couldn't eat most of it, but I did eat a few bites.
It wasn't quite as good as I remembered it to be.
I notice things now that I didn't before, like that cheese gives me post-nasal drip. It happens almost immediately. Weird. I was never in touch with my physiology like that before I became vegan 4 years ago.
Then last night - last night, I had 2 alcoholic drinks. It's been 10 years since I've imbibed (and that was only half a pina colada after many years of sobriety before that). My husband ordered something for me with rum and juice, so it would be sweet. I don't care for the taste of alcohol. I don't like wine or beer or champagne.
There was a shot of rum in each drink, and I thought I'd be snockered, but I wasn't. I really didn't even get tipsy. I was surprised. Ten years ago I would have been hammered. I guess I have a higher tolerance now. It makes sense, because there is nothing under the surface now, no depression to shed off in order to have a good time. My mood is not so easily altered these days.
It feels good to cast the rules away and discover what I like and don't like based on its own uniqueness and not based on my ideas of right and wrong.
I'm letting myself out of the prisons of my own making. It feels good.
In the past 2 weeks I haven't been strictly vegan. In fact, I haven't been vegan even a little. I've eaten eggs and dairy. Yesterday I tried a slice of pizza. With cheese. Real cheese, not soy cheese. I couldn't eat most of it, but I did eat a few bites.
It wasn't quite as good as I remembered it to be.
I notice things now that I didn't before, like that cheese gives me post-nasal drip. It happens almost immediately. Weird. I was never in touch with my physiology like that before I became vegan 4 years ago.
Then last night - last night, I had 2 alcoholic drinks. It's been 10 years since I've imbibed (and that was only half a pina colada after many years of sobriety before that). My husband ordered something for me with rum and juice, so it would be sweet. I don't care for the taste of alcohol. I don't like wine or beer or champagne.
There was a shot of rum in each drink, and I thought I'd be snockered, but I wasn't. I really didn't even get tipsy. I was surprised. Ten years ago I would have been hammered. I guess I have a higher tolerance now. It makes sense, because there is nothing under the surface now, no depression to shed off in order to have a good time. My mood is not so easily altered these days.
It feels good to cast the rules away and discover what I like and don't like based on its own uniqueness and not based on my ideas of right and wrong.
I'm letting myself out of the prisons of my own making. It feels good.
Access: Public
Have you seen the peaceful warrior? great scene in that movie where the master goes to a bar with his student. He starts drinking and smoking.
The student is shocked and says I thought you were better then that and the master replies do you think we are better because of what we know? The student replies yes I do and the teacher replies it's not the drink or the cigarette that is the problem. It's the addiction. Then he mentions that no body is better then anybody else and people are not special because that would mean that somebody is not special – we are all valuble and all equally important.
Well, the post-nasal drip as well as the cheese not tasting as good are most likely the result of being a vegan for so long. It's kind of like how a vegan will get extremely sick if they suddenly decide to eat a steak. Your body isn't used to getting those foods so they have funny reactions to them at first. I've been a vegetarian (I love cheese to much to go vegan) for about 5 years now, but once I accidentally ate a small amount of chicken that was hidden in some vegetables about two years into being a vegetarian. I was horribly sick for a couple of days because my stomach was so used not getting anything like that, so it rebelled.
But anyways, have fun with throwing away the rules and trying out new things!
-Jenn
I love it. I think too often we get bounded by rules and routine, even if they are our own! The fun is knowing when you've become strong enough to stray from them and still maintain your equanimity.
I've been thinking about this a lot, mainly within the context of erasing personal history.