a true real life miracle (my son)

It occured to me recently that if I'd known the seriousness of my son being blind I would have crippled him and never even known it was a choice I made.

When my son was 5 years old and had his first optometry appointment, the doctor grabbed me and was yelling that my son was blind and how could I not know and what kind of a mother was I anyway???

I'm telling you - there were no signs! As it turns out, he can see energy. He explained to me one day, "See, Mom, there is energy around everything, so I just go where the energy isn't dense, and that is between things. That is why I never run into stuff."

Oh. Okay!

This kid, when he was a toddler, used to put a bucket on his head and run around all day without ever bumping into anything. I always joked that he was part bat and was using sonar.

So his uncorrected vision is 20/2200. With correction it was still just 20/200, which is still legally blind. All the doctors said that was as good as it was ever going to get, considering his age (about 8yrs by this time).

Nevertheless, I treated him pretty much as I always have. He dresses himself, takes care of the dogs, plays, does chores - all the normal things a kid does, except read.

I did teach him to use the energy in his hands to heal his eyes, and I'd give him diksha (a blessing of light into the brain gifted via Sai Maa's spiritual lineage) whenever I had the opportunity to put a hand on him, and my teacher was sending energy. Heck, it never even occured to me to tell my teacher my son was blind until after we'd been working together for a year, and even then I mentioned it in passing. It's just not anything we ever dwelled on.

But I didn't teach him braille or take him for blind services. It never even occured to me. I mean, he didn't need special services before I knew he was blind, so why would he now?

When all these doctors and surgeons and specialists said he was blind, I kind of went, yeah whatever. He didn't act blind, so it must not be that bad. Just don't throw a ball at him and expect him to catch it or even see it coming, even if it was his idea to play catch. We learned that one the hard way.

So for the past 3 years my son has been working very hard to learn to read. First he had to learn to see, which according to all the doctors was completely impossible.

My son learned how to read this summer. He was 10 (now 11). He started with huge printed flashcards, and now, just a few months later, he is reading the tiny print of comic books and novels flawlessly, save for a word here or there that is new to him.

The optometrist cried and exclaimed it a miracle when he was able to bring my son's vision to 20/20 and 20/30 respectively with correction. "This is impossible," he said, "What did you do to him? Whatever it was, keep doing it! I can't wait to see where this goes!"

Again, I kind of shrugged. I still didn't really understand what the big deal was. I mean, everyone faces challenges in their life. This is my son's challenge. I always knew he'd be fine one way or another, even if it meant finding new ways to do the things he wants to do.

So the other night my husband was watching a DVD about soldiers that came back from Iraq. They were telling their stories, and at the end, the camera zoomed out on each one to show you that he was seriously wounded in some way.

One of the soldiers was now blind. A grenade blew up in his face or something like that. He and his wife were on there, and they were very emotional and saying how the wife had to be his full time care-taker now because he can't see to do anything for himself, even basic needs like using the toilet or eating are huge issues. The soldier is on a transplant list, hoping that someday he will be able to see again.

And to bring home the whole thing, he stated that his vision was now 20/2200.

THAT is the moment it hit me - When they said my son was blind, they meant BLIND, like CAN'T SEE BECAUSE HE'S BLIND blind. 20/2200, just like the soldier awaiting a transplant who can't take care of his personal needs.

I started thanking God that I was so clueless, because now, so long as he's got his glasses on, my son can see, and read, and catch a ball, and ride a bike.

Today I was sharing this revelation with my daughter, Andi. She spent 8 weeks last spring doing a full-time internship where she aided 2 blind women who lived in a special home and school for the blind and used white canes, held elbows, read braille, and the whole shebang.

So after I tell her of my revelation, she says, "Yeah, the blind women I worked with didn't have vision near as bad as Jake's, and they couldn't see anything to speak of."

I guess I was the only one who was clueless, and my son trusted me because I'm his mommy. It's a good thing, too!

I've realized that sometimes what [we think] we know can be even more damaging than what we don't know. If I had understood the 'seriousness' of the situation, would I still have been open to miracles? I tell you, we have to be open to miracles for them to occur in the numbers they have in my son's case. Would we have devoted THREE YEARS on teaching his brain to work with his eyes if we'd believed it was impossible?

I think it was Grace that kept me blanketed from absorbing what everyone else saw as truth. What an amazing gift I've been given!